Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Vegas you have a gambling problem and her name is Claire.

I am my father's daughter, and sorta his son.

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Do you see anything suspicious? Like smoke, or paraphernalia, or nachos?

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said