Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
Phil: Nooooo!

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Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.

Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Vegas you have a gambling problem and her name is Claire.

I am my father's daughter, and sorta his son.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said