Claire Dunphy Quotes
Phil: You're such a great mother. Sometimes I wish you were my mother.
Claire: Oh gosh. I'm already queasy.
Phil: How did Scout get your bra?
Claire: Well, we were out on a date, and he has a really nice car, so â€” how do you think? He got it from the laundry basket.
Phil: We're like two peas in a pod, or Siamese twins, a snake with two heads!
Claire: They've actually been all those things for Halloween.
No, I don't love the dog. I love my couch and the dog was looking at it like it was a giant sausage.
Alex, honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten!
Claire: They're getting more in next week.
Phil: Next week? That's like the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.
Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.
Phil: I'm really sorry for not underestimating Luke enough.
Claire: Well that means a lot to me.
Haley: Oh my God, gross, I can't even picture you with a woman.
Claire: Thank you.
Women in their 30s on the internet are like ninjas. They get in their little, black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage.
Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.
Phil: I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electro-acoustic transducers.
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.