Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: You're such a great mother. Sometimes I wish you were my mother.
Claire: Oh gosh. I'm already queasy.

Phil: How did Scout get your bra?
Claire: Well, we were out on a date, and he has a really nice car, so — how do you think? He got it from the laundry basket.

Phil: We're like two peas in a pod, or Siamese twins, a snake with two heads!
Claire: They've actually been all those things for Halloween.

No, I don't love the dog. I love my couch and the dog was looking at it like it was a giant sausage.

Alex, honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten!

Claire: They're getting more in next week.
Phil: Next week? That's like the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.

Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.

Phil: I'm really sorry for not underestimating Luke enough.
Claire: Well that means a lot to me.

Haley: Oh my God, gross, I can't even picture you with a woman.
Claire: Thank you.

Displaying quotes 118 - 126 of 155 in total