Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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It's an obsessive-compulsive thing. I have read like a hundred articles about it.

She suggested an Arabian Nights theme. Isn't it a little soon?

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Luke: Dad's like crazy fun, but you're nice.
Claire: I'm nice?!?
Luke: Well, not now.

Claire: Did you make the ladyfingers? Did you go to the gym?
Phil: Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self.

Claire: You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.
Alex: Yeah, I know, so why do I need the cage.

Honey, trust me, I'm sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you.

I hate it when you do that. You never heard of Troga? You never tried octopus? You never did this amazing thing I just discovered yesterday but I pretend like I've done my whole life?

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them; they need to know who you wish you were, and try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Claire: Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now their driving, and soon we'll all be dead.

Claire: Quick, quick tell me something to say that will freak him out.
Haley: Tell him I'm pregnant!

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 171 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

I get that Thanksgiving is an big day for families that don't see each other, but we're together nonstop.

Jay