Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Mitchell: Did we come at a bad time?
Claire: Come back in five years and seven months when they're all gone!

Claire: Phil, the frying pan is on fire!
Phil: Son of Jor-El! Everybody stay calm!

Sweetie we did it! Our baby is average!

Haley: What are my friends at school going to think?
Claire: They'll think you're helping your father put food on the table.

If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, he would be afraid of our next-door neighbor.

Claire: Little kids can be friends with old people, right?
Phil: Of course they can, there's tons of examples: Up, Gran Torino, True Grit..."
Claire: Cartoon, kills himself, she loses an arm. We've gotta go talk to that guy."

I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it, so we have that to look forward to on the Internet.

I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like i did with Mitchell.

Every time he opens his mouth I can feel my daughters losing respect for me.

Am I a bad enough parent to ignore that?

I know Phil and I are going to grow old together someday, but today is not that day.

Claire: I'll be upstairs, Clive, don't take too long.
Phil: I never do.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 174 in total