Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction. I remember a certain young lady who was pretty addicted to Miss Pacman until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather, it was a dreamcatcher. And it worked.

Claire: Welcome to the insane asylum of from hell!
Phil: That's what it feels like.

Claire: You gonna put some blood on that? Maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding, I know it's Jay and Dede.

I wanna hear your point but right now this magic juice is gonna help mama turn that bathtub into a swim up bar.

Claire: Haley I need the wifi corner get down.
Haley: Ugh! I need Instagram to know there's still beauty in the world!

Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
Phil: Nooooo!

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Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.

Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 171 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke