Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Vegas you have a gambling problem and her name is Claire.

I am my father's daughter, and sorta his son.

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Do you see anything suspicious? Like smoke, or paraphernalia, or nachos?

Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.

Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 160 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.

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