Claire Dunphy Quotes
Claire: We were called into Principal Brown's office one week before Alex's graduation.
Phil: That can only mean one of two things. Either she's going to be valedictorian, or they're giving an award for sexiest dad.
I couldn't be more relaxed if I was in a coma.
Let's review. She's been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous. She left in the middle of the night for a wedding chapel in Vegas with her secret love, and most suspicious of all, she bought a book!
Claire: Phil, honey, when I’m not home I need you to be present and keep track of everyone.
Phil: Sounds good. Love you too.
Claire: You've never stolen anything before?
Phil: Only my entire high school production of The Wiz.
Phil: Happy Valentine's Day by the way.
Claire: Ew no, I'm gross and sweaty from running.
Claire: What party?
Mitchell: Aw the two saddest words in the English language.
Oh c'mon please, my dad is Ms. Dunphy, I'm just Claire!
Claire: Well hello! How is your first day back in the closet...business?
Mitchell: That makes no sense, I've never worked here before.
Claire: It's just a gay joke Mitchell. Don't over-think it.
Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
I know you think you discovered the new you, but you're controlling even when you're trying to not be controlling.Mitchell [to Claire]
Claire: We are having fun.
Mitchell: You are. I'm just doing what you're making me do.