Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.

When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.

Get away from me temptress! And I never thought I'd call you that in a negative way.

Cam [to Mitchell]

She looks like she was dipped in glue and dragged through a flea market.

Cam [about Lily]

Lily: I push the buttons Daddy!
Cam [in tears]: You sure do!

Cam: You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you?
Mitchell: No I told you it was fine, I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.

Well, you're pretending to be something you're not, and boys do that for girls or really dreamy boys.

He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.

Mitchell: You do love pink.
Cam: No, pink loves me.

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 200 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
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