Because we refused to abuse we got banned from the party of the century?

Please to not turn me marrying my daughter into something ugly.

Cam: Everyone here is 11 and I'm hot.
Mitchell: If you were hot we'd be drinking right now.

We should start calling her ranch house, cause she doesn't have a second story.

Cam: Are you excited for your big sleepover with your cousins?
Lily: Who's watching me?
Cam: Haley.
Lily: I'm serious.
Mitchell: Alex.
Lily: Okay let's go.

Cam: Okay what did we learn from "A League of Their Own?"
Claire: No crying in baseball.
Cam: No, that Madonna's a lousy actress and so are you. So what's going on?

Cats, now and forever. Well actually until next Thursday. It's been described as transcendent!

Cam: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway if they wanted a female driven vehicle.
Mitchell: And who would play your long suffering partner?
Cam: Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell: I would totally see that. I would.

What did I tell you, that place is like a gay bar with dumbbells.

Gloria: The baby kicked me all night. It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl.
Cam: You can be both. My senior year I was a right side linebacker and a left side cancan dancer in Gigi.

Phone! I bet that's Mama, I was just dreaming it was raining chickens.

Alex: I know what you think about Michael, mom. You didn't have to bring your big gay guns in to back you up. No offense.
Mitchell: None taken.
Cam: I kinda like it.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.