I thought it was a charity event for the need, it turns out it was a charity event FOR the needy!

Now I don’t get what tuna net you dolphins swam into but you guys are drowning out there!

There will be no mourning Knight this afternoon.

We never told Grandma ‘bout the gay.

Lily: Y’all fightin?
Cam: No no sweetie, we’re just having a conversation about how your daddy can be so stuck up.

That’s the worst call since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Miz!!

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Pepper: My job is to give you a snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
Cam: That's all we've ever wanted.

I'm gonna go over there and be as socially magnetic as I always am, we will put this on the back burner, but underneath know I am fuming.

Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I mean how crazy is that!

She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

Modern Family Quotes

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay