Cam: My dream for him is that one day, he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why Cam?
Cam: So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes.

Cameron: Don't tell me that was your first moon landing.
Jay: You have a name for it?!?

Cameron: I got all medieval on the florists.
Mitchell: Cam, I heard you on the phone, you said you were displeased, but that's hardly going medieval.
Cameron: Excuse me, I said very displeased and I used my cowboy voice.

You guys look like a scene out of Jersey Boys.

I'm like a big runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my off-ramp full of safety gravel.

I'm like a mother bear. When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her.

If I was home right now, I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don't think I don't miss that?

Cameron: It's Christmas eve, you can't spend it in your car.
Santa Scott: That's really nice of you guys. Can I bring anything? Ketchup, soy sauce, straws?
Cameron: We're good.
Mitchell: So why don't you follow us to our house?
Cameron: In your house.

Cameron: Do you really live in your car?
Santa Scott: It's not so bad. It's really roomy since the wife moved out.

You know people are going to stare, they're not used to seeing one clown in a car.

Cameron: If I wasn't in school or fishing, I was clowning. There are four types of clowns: a tramp, Auguste, a whiteface, and a character. I am a classically trained Auguste clown named Fizbo.
Mitchell: Between the clowning and the fishing, I'm surprised you had time for the schooling. Aww, there's the fifth type, the sad clown.
Cameron: A sad clown is a tramp.. so there's still only four types.

I'm the ass kicking clown that will twist you like a balloon animal!

Modern Family Quotes

You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

Phil

I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

Phil