Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Business partners, mergers and acquisitions. Just kidding, we're gay!

I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.

You're so cute when you're angry with you're little fists. I just want to put you in my pocket.

Oh man, if a spider would have broken in here, he would have been in trouble.

Gloria: This part of town, might be very rough, but the people here, Cameron, are the best!
Cameron: I'm pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.

Cameron: I was nervous. There was a lot of different food on the menu, and on the floor and on the wall.
Mitchell: Are we sure we're not exaggerating just a little bit?
Cameron: Were you there, Mitchell? Because I think I would have recognized the only other white or gay person.

Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.

Mitchell: I never went to sports games with him.
Cameron: Probably because you call them sports games. Lose the sports.

Mitchell: Tonight is the maginificent Lyrid meteor shower.
Cameron: It's where the planet geek passes through the nerdy way.

We can't ignore the giant panda in the room

The recipe is from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. Why do all the things I love go away?

Mitchell: Subtext: this is weird.
Cameron: I didn't hear any subtext.
Mitchell: Hear any now?

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 211 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke