Cameron Tucker Quotes
We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice.
Oh, the smiley face makes it okay! 'I waterboarded our toddler, LOL!'
Missouri is more cosmopolitan than you give it credit for. It's got a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene.
You cheated on me with choreography and that is the worst kind.
That gay cruise ship has sailed.Cam [on Lily having a normal childhood]
How was it a big day for Biscuit? How?
That's a lot of complaining for somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.
Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood.
Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.
Disabled inter-racial lesbians? With an African-American kicker? I did not see that coming.
Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn't have the dexterity for that!
Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.