Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Years from now some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheim-ized them.

We're running twenty minutes long so we're cutting the Bollywood number.

Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Mitchell: Well, if the shoe fits...
Cam: They don't, they're comically large.

It's ten feet long with boxer shorts on the end, it works on so many levels.

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