Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Mitchell: Well, if the shoe fits...
Cam: They don't, they're comically large.

It's ten feet long with boxer shorts on the end, it works on so many levels.

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we've moved on to sweating and crying.

If this were the '60s, we would be 'confirmed bachelors,' and Lily would be a Yorkie.

You don't tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and then go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it's NOTHING!

Displaying quotes 109 - 117 of 196 in total