Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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You cheated on me with choreography and that is the worst kind.

That gay cruise ship has sailed.

Cam [on Lily having a normal childhood]

How was it a big day for Biscuit? How?

That's a lot of complaining for somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.

Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood.

Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.

Disabled inter-racial lesbians? With an African-American kicker? I did not see that coming.

Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn't have the dexterity for that!

Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.

After the earthquake, it might be nice to be around similarly dressed people.

Pepper: I feel like a joke.
Cam: You're not a joke. You're Pepper Salzman!

It was the nineties, we'd just lost Princess Di. I was at sea.

Cam [on dating Pepper]
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 215 in total