Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

That's a lot of complaining for somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.

Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood.

Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.

Disabled inter-racial lesbians? With an African-American kicker? I did not see that coming.

Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn't have the dexterity for that!

Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.

After the earthquake, it might be nice to be around similarly dressed people.

Pepper: I feel like a joke.
Cam: You're not a joke. You're Pepper Salzman!

It was the nineties, we'd just lost Princess Di. I was at sea.

Cam [on dating Pepper]

Mitchell: Nobody kisses at a bowling alley!
Cam: I almost got a turkey!

Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

Mitchell: Aren't you going to change into a working man's outfit?
Cameron: I don't think workmen really call them outfits.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 200 in total
x Close Ad