Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Mitchell: Well, if the shoe fits...
Cam: They don't, they're comically large.

It's ten feet long with boxer shorts on the end, it works on so many levels.

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we've moved on to sweating and crying.

If this were the '60s, we would be 'confirmed bachelors,' and Lily would be a Yorkie.

You don't tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and then go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it's NOTHING!

Cam: Tell me all about Mitchell in high school. Did he have a beard?
Tracy: You're looking at her.

You are living in a little girl's toy and you have to move out!

Cam [to Barry]

Cam: There's a stranger in our hot tub.
Mitchell: Who is it?
Cam: You do know what stranger means, don't you?

She bit me! Ow! She did it again! It's like Twilight back here!

Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 206 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Not since I fell off the roof while they were delivering our trampoline have things come together so beautifully.

Phil

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke
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