Cam: I'm sorry but you know I have two weakness: children cursing and old people rapping!

More like Little Bo Cheap.

Cam: It's kind of like a first date.
Mitchell: Actually it's the opposite of the first date. You don't want to have sex, but you do want a baby.

Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.

Cam and Jay, kind of sounds like a bird.

Do you know what's illegal in Europe? Nothing! You're going to college!

Claire [to Haley]

All this from someone who never chunked a Punkin!

I sleep clown.

It's a somber occasion and all of my tops are too joyful.

Cameron: How would she know I'm gay?
Mitchell: Maybe by the way you ordered a drink a doodle do.

You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.

Cameron: Wham Bam thank you Cam.
Mitchell: Seriously you got her number.
Cameron: Sure did and all my shirts should be ironed and the seams should appear straight, just like their owner.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Cam [giving Lily dating advice]: Definitely compliment his outfit, laugh at his jokes...
Lily: What if they aren't funny?
Cam: Oh honey, the cute ones rarely are. God doesn't give with both hands.