Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.

Mitchell: You do love pink.
Cam: No, pink loves me.

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Years from now some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheim-ized them.

We're running twenty minutes long so we're cutting the Bollywood number.

Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 205 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
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