Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Well, you're pretending to be something you're not, and boys do that for girls or really dreamy boys.

He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.

Mitchell: You do love pink.
Cam: No, pink loves me.

Cameron: You punctured our daughter!
Gloria: But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear, look!

Mitchell: How are you doing?
Cameron: Oh not good. I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that.
Mitchell: In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?
Cameron: Do not minimize it, oh he who I had to rush to the emergency room when he fell out of his clogs.

Cameron: I love Jay, but I don't know about him raising a child.
Mitchell: He raised me.
Cameron: Well now you've put me in an awkward position.

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Years from now some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheim-ized them.

We're running twenty minutes long so we're cutting the Bollywood number.

Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 206 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

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