Cam: I want you to read this, but not until after I leave.
Gloria: It's going to make me cry isn't it, you beautiful cornfed son-of-a-bitch.

Why does drama keep following me everywhere I go? It just pops up out of nowhere.

Nobody's gonna see my bod in this bulky bull costume

Cam: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching!
Cam: I'm the weak link in the super-group.

Lily: Y’all fightin?
Cam: No no sweetie, we’re just having a conversation about how your daddy can be so stuck up.

Jump, swim, now give me your best Beyonce.

Cameron: Wham Bam thank you Cam.
Mitchell: Seriously you got her number.
Cameron: Sure did and all my shirts should be ironed and the seams should appear straight, just like their owner.

I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.

Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.

If this were the '60s, we would be 'confirmed bachelors,' and Lily would be a Yorkie.

We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we've moved on to sweating and crying.

We're not bad parents, Claire is!

Cam [to Mitchell]

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley