Mitchell: Oh my god. That burger was so good, I feel like I just cheated on you.
Cam: Yeah, I heard the moaning.

Lily: Mrs. Daniels my projects have too much glitter.
Cam: Okay. Well, she needs a Mr. Daniels, because a project can't have too much pizzazz.

She may not have gotten our talent, but she didn't get our self-consciousness either.

Obviously there were 2 gifts wrapped similarly and my eyes were a little watery from the thick fog of vapor rub back there.

Cam: I present to you the Asian for any occassion, the clown that will invert that frown, the dynamic duo of Fizbo and...
Lily: Lizbo!
Mitchell: Are you not hearing that?
Cam: We're working on the name.

This was a huge mistake. I am jammed in the backseat with a hairy Peruvian biter. It's spring break '92 all over again!

Cam: It was right about then that a question started nagging at me: "Is Phil sexy?"

Cam: Umm well I can raise the roof and do the cabbage patch.
Mitchell: And I can do the single lady hand thing.
Cam: Yeah but put your neck into it or you just look like the Queen waving.

Mitchell: There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle.
Cam: Or guncle.

Mitchell: She's gonna wake up.
Cam: Oh please, she's got enough pills in her, she's gonna rattle like a maraca.

Cam: Let's get this woman into bed and in the morning out of the house as fast as we can. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys do it.
Mitchell: Probably without those hand gestures.

Cam: I just can't believe I slipped into one of Gloria's dresses.
MItchell: Relax it's a maternity poncho.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex