Cam: Mitchell? Judge... Judy!
Mitchell: Your talent. It's like you were touched by a Gayngel.

You're missing out on life, Mitchell. Take off your shackles and show people who you really are.

It was a pretty simple case because as I said, everyone has something to hide. Everyone. ... Everyone.

Did you get a peck from a pickled Pepper?

Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.


Tarnation! Here comes your kin! Git! Git!

Mitch: It is a lot less money though.
Cam: Well, you know, we don't have to decide today.

You'll get a donut when I get answers, you piece of trash.

Lilly: Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
Mitch: No
Cam: No, not a chance.

Oops, I dropped the, uh, I wanna say egg chute, but I know it's probably something more Latin-y.

The molten chocolate cake looks slutty and delicious. Would it kill you to say that about me?

Let's face it, like Drew Barrymore, I am an adorable fire starter.

Modern Family Quotes

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.


But if you're always telling yourself how lucky you are, it's probably because you're afraid to ask yourself how happy you are. Right?