Cam: Don't hate me for your son leaving.
Jay: You're both my sons.

Cam: I want you to read this, but not until after I leave.
Gloria: It's going to make me cry isn't it, you beautiful cornfed son-of-a-bitch.

Cam: Mitchell? Judge... Judy!
Mitchell: Your talent. It's like you were touched by a Gayngel.

You're missing out on life, Mitchell. Take off your shackles and show people who you really are.

It was a pretty simple case because as I said, everyone has something to hide. Everyone. ... Everyone.

Did you get a peck from a pickled Pepper?

Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.

Phil

Tarnation! Here comes your kin! Git! Git!

Mitch: It is a lot less money though.
Cam: Well, you know, we don't have to decide today.

You'll get a donut when I get answers, you piece of trash.

Lilly: Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
Mitch: No
Cam: No, not a chance.

Oops, I dropped the, uh, I wanna say egg chute, but I know it's probably something more Latin-y.

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley