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Glee

Brittany: Can I ask you a question?
Sam: Oh, The Walking Dead isn't based on a true story. I already checked.
Brittany: That's not what I was going to ask, but, oh.

Brittany: I can't.
Sam: Is it my lips?
Brittany: No. Your lips are so soft and horizontal. I just like you too much to put you in danger.
Sam: Santana broke up with you.
Brittany: No, it's not just Santana. It's like, all the lesbians of the nation, and I don't know how they found out about Santana and I dating, but once they did, they started sending me, like, tweets and Facebook messages on Lord Tubbington's wall. I think it means a lot to them to see two super hot, popular girls in love, and I worry if they find out about you and I dating that they'll turn on you and get really violent and hurt your beautiful face and mouth.

Sam: I'm totally into you. You're, uh, the only person that really understands me.
Brittany: It's cause you're a genius. And most people don't understand geniuses. Like most people didn't appreciate Einstein or the Spice Girls until it was too late.

Brittany: Did you lay out the line of cereal for me?
Sam: Well, it's Tuesday, and I know how you forget to eat breakfast on Tuesday because the first few days of the week tend to confuse you.

Brittany: Along with being beautiful, the three of us are National Show Choir Championship goddesses.
Santana: We are winners which is why Finn has asked us to come and shower you with the inspiration that is the unholy trinity.

I knew it. Mercedes was cloned.

I don't smell raspberry hair gel. Does anyone know where Blaine Warbler is?

[to Santana] I'm glad you came back to play Rizzo. I feel bad for Mercedes but if her parents want her to be a boy, then I don't know, I guess it makes sense.

Santana: Let's just do the mature thing here. This is not an official break up. But let's just be honest that long distance relationships are almost impossible to maintain because both people are rarely getting what they need, especially at our age.
Brittany: This sounds a lot like a break up to me.

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