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Glee

I'm really surprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed off the dinosaurs which was a global yeast infection.

Please be songs about sweaters.

[to Santana] I think you need to be somewhere that's as big and as hot as you are. It's okay to follow your dreams.

[to Santana] I'm not breaking up with Sam. I really like him. He makes me feel really smart and think about things, like where air comes from, and how come in every movie about Jesus he dies at the end.

[to Marley] I noticed that whenever you look at Jake, you get a really sad look on your face, and if it's quiet enough, I can actually hear that you're whimpering like a suckling puppy.

Beiste: Dr. Jones said the new end of world date is September 27, 2014
Brittany: That gives us like two whole years of giving love and brutal honesty to everyone we know.

Sam: Brittany, it's December 22. Do you know what this means? We survived the Mayan Apocalypse.
Brittany: We're also married.

Sam: Brittany, I've always thought you were super hot and really smart, but what I didn't know was that you were going to end up being my soul mate. Who knows what the future holds for us. Probably tsunamis and horrible sea monsters. But I'm not worried about that because I have you.
Brittany: Sam, when you first joined the glee club, I didn't notice for a while. It wasn't until you did a Rich Little impression and then told me it was a Rich Little impression and then explained who Rich Little was that I knew you were special. And I can't tell you how excited I am to become your Mayan star-wife.

Brittany: You guys, welcome to the first meeting of the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse club.
Tina: Wait, that's what this is?
Sam: Don't worry, it's also the last meeting.

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