Kurt: What are you going as for Halloween?
Brittany: I'm going as a peanut allergy.

I was going to order us one really, really long piece of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. I've been practicing nudging the meatball across the table with my nose.

Artie: I thought I was over someone, but I still think I have feelings for them.
Brittany: The Clintons?

Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought you were a robot.

Will: What's a duet?
Brittany: A blanket.

He's the dumbest person on the planet, and that's coming from me.

Tina: Last week we were too sexy, this week we're too religious -- we can't win.
Brittany: Now I know how Miley feels like.

I made him a card that said 'heart attacks are just from loving too much.'

Is God an evil dwarf?

I did a book report on heart attacks if you wanna give it to the doctor. It got knocked down a whole grade because I did it in crayon.

Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.

Carl: I'm gonna put you under a little general anesthesia. You won't feel a thing.
Brittany: Like roofies?
Carl: Yea, totally.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.