I know I'm more talented than all of you. Britney Spears taught me that.

Artie: We all know you can do it.
Brittany: I know that I can't. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

Mr. Schu taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated.

They look like deep fried deep poop.

Brittany [on tater tots]

Mini Rachel: I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of Bernadette Peters.
Mini Brittany: Someday, I'm gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre.

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Kurt: What are you going as for Halloween?
Brittany: I'm going as a peanut allergy.

I was going to order us one really, really long piece of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. I've been practicing nudging the meatball across the table with my nose.

Artie: I thought I was over someone, but I still think I have feelings for them.
Brittany: The Clintons?

Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought you were a robot.

Will: What's a duet?
Brittany: A blanket.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: I'm just scared. I haven't been this scared in my whole life. You know, when I was in high school and I had all these big Broadway dreams, I just got used to everyone laughing at me and I figured one day I would make it and I would show them that I'm not a joke anymore. And then I did and it all fell apart and I realized that there is a whole different kind of lauging that is way worse. So...I can't. I can't fail again.
Mercedes: Rachel, we're all going to fail again and again...the hardest part is just getting up, shaking it off, and getting on with it. Let me tell you this, when you sing? Nobody's laughing.

God as my witness, I will break her down.

Santana