Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

Last year I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation and an entire family of mice starting living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.

Artie: Adultery means cheating.
Brittany: I thought it meant being stupid. Like being a dolt.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

I'm paralyzed with fear. I've been here since second period. I really need to pee.

Brittany

I know I'm more talented than all of you. Britney Spears taught me that.

Artie: We all know you can do it.
Brittany: I know that I can't. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

Mr. Schu taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated.

They look like deep fried deep poop.

Brittany [on tater tots]

Mini Rachel: I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of Bernadette Peters.
Mini Brittany: Someday, I'm gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre.

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt and Walter] Shall we start with something to drink? Perhaps a Shirley Temple in a sippy cup for Sonny. And how about a chalky Ensure, enriched with calcium to fortify those brittle bones?

Sue

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn