Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

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I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.

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Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

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Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

• Permalink: I have pepperoni in my bra. Those are your nipples.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

If we lose, we should throw possums.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

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Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

• Permalink: Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0