Jane and Alex's parents are going to sex camp.

Max: Hello this is not a foursome, you guys are totally fifth wheeling me!
Dave: C'mon man we're not fifth wheeling you, Joey Fatone.
Brad: Yeah you're still part of the group Sporty Spice.
Jane: You're our favorite character Roz from Frasier.

I'm always write about cornplay, I was wrong about Coldplay though, they're still huge.

Why the long face Michael Phelps?

Are you calling me a trophy wife because that's awesome!

Aww boo, you're not laughing, what's wrong? You consti?

Kerkovich? More like Kerkobitch.

I need some hand sani for my face.

I was an investment banker Max. That's like one step below tonight show bandleader.

Max leads a league in having jobs you didn't know were jobs.

Max: Well BBF why don't you tell me what you used to do on our Saturdays?
Brad: Well, GFF...Gay Fat Friend, I'd start out with lunch then I'd do a little clothes shopping, work out with my trainer and then end my day with a little steam. The perfect Sabado.

Jane: Wait, the not looking me in the eyes, the nervous tick in your boob.
Brad: That thing's jumpin like Kris Kross.

Happy Endings Quotes

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]