Once upon a time, you sold dime bags at local sporting events. But now! Oh, wait. You’re selling dime bags at local sporting events. A somewhat circular journey, no? A spiral?

Andy: You have no idea how much it means to me that you believe in me.
Shane: I don't believe in you.

Obviously, you're not my sexual equal, what with your penis being a soft void filled with sonnets.

There's this video online of Maxine putting a popsicle up her lady hole.

Why is your apartment weird and full of danger?

Andy: Have you learned nothing from three years behind bars?
Nancy: Try again, fail better?

Retiring for motherhood? I knew something had to give.

We're going to America. Land of hot sauce and catastrophic wealth imbalance.

Shane: She's not coming is she?
Andy: No, she's not.

Nancy: I can't believe you let him stay.
Andy: I can't believe you don't understand why.

Nancy: Where's Silas?
Andy: He's not coming.

(to club owner) No, go to her. Don't end up dead and alone like I am.

Weeds Quotes

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin

You've made your bed, now f**k in it.

Nancy Botwin