I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

On this show, all three judges are mean.

Hey Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented. Well...right back at ya Daryl.

I've been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup.

Andy: What's the mouse's name?
Guy: It really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder.

Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!

I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb.

I guess I can cancel my order from Zappos.com, because oh the loafers have arrived.

When I got the nickname Bonerchamp, that's when I became me.

She'll make a wonderful mother to any child who can overlook weird accents.

Banana cream's the first to go. We'll be lucky to get pumpkin at this point.

Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best.

Kevin