I shouldn't be penalized for being too smart, I'm not running for president.

Haley: How do you still not know you're a babe?
Alex: Well, you did call me a frumpy nerd for twenty years.

Luke: Thank you, Alexandra. It's not easy being the smart ones in this family.
Alex: Don't compare us! Your last English paper came back with a Garfield sticker on it that said, "Way to Go!"

How many Mannys do you see through these things?

As an actual glasses wearer, I find it offensive.

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

I'm not a doctor yet, but it seems like you're having some sort of brain episode.

You're not going to drive me into a bad neighborhood to show me how lucky I am, are you?

Luke: What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
Alex: Is that a question you really want people asking around here?

Wait, I just thought of something! I’m going to be the first woman in my family not to get pregnant and drop out of college.

Alex: I know all you had to do to get into their college was like their Facebook page, but this is Princeton. I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker. And you could be a bit more supportive.
Haley: You're right I'm sorry. Your outfit's perfect.
Alex: Thanks.
Haley: If you're applying to lumberjack school. And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.

Alex: Sex is confusing for young people and she doesn't need to learn about it from two fuzz staches who barely know anything themselves!
Luke: Excuse me, you might want to check my browser history. I've done some research.

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley