Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.

Abby: I'm still stuck on the fact that you can draw. I mean this isn't Kate good but it's good good.
Bishop: Who's Kate?
Abby: That would take a few hours and a whole box of tissues.

Abby: It's sage, McGee. I'm purifying my sanctuary of the negative karma left by the Halloween prankster.
McGee: Don't you think you're going a little overboard? I mean I don't like it when Tony touches my stuff either, but I just use bleach.

Gibbs: You got something for me, Abs?
Abby: She came down here an hour ago, asking to look at Petty Officer Well's computer. She was all "please" and all "thank you". She brought me this.
Gibbs: She's just trying to be nice.
Abby: I know. It's freaking me out, man.

Gibbs: Can you beam this up to McGee?
Abby: Well I can't beam it Captain Kirk, but I can send it up, sure.
Gibbs: Captain who?

Abby: Why didn't we do more to stop Parsons' investigation? Like a sit-in....or a hunger strike?
Palmer: I'm no good at hunger strikes. I get really light-headed at around four o'clock if I don't have a snack.

Abby: Ziva is loyal to a fault.
Parsons: No doubt. "To a fault" is exactly how I'd put it.

I knew that guy was trouble. He's like an evil McGee.

Abby: Is that broken?
Tony: No Mrs. Mulwray, but I damned near lost my nose. I like breathing through it.
Abby: Mrs. Mulwray
Tony: Faye Dunaway and of course Mr. Jack.
Ziva: Yeah, I know. Chinatown.

Abby: This is nice, Ziva. It's been too long since we got to hang out.
Ziva: Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, I've just been, uh, busy lately.
Abby: Yes you have. Doing what?
Ziva: You know. Just....stuff.

Ziva: Looks like a symbol. But of what?
Abby: That could be all night finding that answer. You in?
Ziva: I'm sorry. Busy.
Abby: Right. "Stuff". I'll draft McGee.

Ramsey: Looks like we got a lot of evidence to get through, huh?
Abby: Yeah.
Both: All-nighter!

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.