Abby: And these are his chats and his emails for you and Ducky to profile.
Palmer: Thanks for including me in there but Dr. Mallard's really the profiler. I'm just...
Abby: You are the wind beneath his wings. Now go. Blow.

McGee: Okay you're telling me that Ziva knew too?
Vance: Agent McGee, your ego is not the subject of this briefing.

Gibbs: What? Something wrong?
Abby: Not. At. All. Tony read me in. I heard the fantastic news that you matched DNA from the cold case airport bombing to a recent bomb in Colombia. That is awesome.
Gibbs: So?
Abby: So I'm thrilled you got someone to run DNA for you. Someone with a lab full of DNA-running equipment. I mean it must be so cool to know somebody like that.
Gibbs: Abby, it's not like that.
Abby: You cheated on me, Gibbs.

McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
Abby: Okay.

Gibbs: Then can we hack into, uh, his GPS REM thingy and backtrace his memory deal?
Abby: Um, none of those things are things Gibbs. One of them's a band and when someone turns their phone off there's nothing you can do. I mean it's off.

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.

Palmer: Well there's Dirk, if it's a boy obviously. Or Oskar, with a "K".
Abby: Oskar Palmer. It's a lot of "Rs".
Palmer: If it's a girl, we're thinking Frieda, Greta, Liesl. Something von Trappish.

Abby: I know you, Tony. The real you. And the fake happy front you put up you.
Tony: Oh come on. I am a happy dude. I mean I like, radiate happiness. That song "Happy"?
Abby: That's baloney. This whole random act of dating schtick? Nobody's buying it, okay? We know you're lonely, and we no why. Ziva. Say it. Ziva.
Tony: Come on. I can say it. I know her name. Ziva.
Abby: Okay then let's stop dancing around this whole thing, okay - we all miss her. I love Ziva but she left us. She's gone. And it hurts, and it sucks but that's reality. We have to face it.
Tony: I have faced it, many many times. She said no, she didn't want to come back. That's that. I have moved on from it.
Abby: But you haven't moved on from her. And you can't keep putting your life on hold waiting for her to show up, because she probably never will.
Tony: I know. Doesn't make it any easier. The truth is: I miss my friend.
Abby: You have friends here too, Tony, don't forget.
Tony: I know. Thanks Abby.

Abby: Gosh I just got chills.
McGee: Why is that?
Abby: You're just changing, right in front of our eyes. Your gruff manner, your clipped replies. You're no longer McGee. You're McGibbs.
McGee: What? That's....wait, what?
Bishop: It's true. Ever since Tony put you in charge, you're like...channeling him.
McGee: Stop it.
Abby: You got it. Boss.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Abby: So I can date him?
McGee: Absolutely not. You don't know a thing about this guy. Aside from this totally comprehensive background check.

Vance: I'd go with the cat.
Abby: Yes, most of us would, but WMD.
Tony: WMD?
Abby: What would McGee do?
Tony: That's two Ws, Abs.
Abby: Whatever.

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NCIS Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

High-tech case - low-tech ass-kickin'!

Tony