I love animals, but I think I'd love my husband more.

Abby: Gibbs, I can't have a conversation by myself!
Gibbs: It's never stopped you before.

I don't kick down doors. Are you saying I'm not a crime fighter?

Abby: Hey Tony.
McGee: Vance got a call.
Tony: Ziva. Are we sure?
McGee: I'm so sorry, Tony.

Abby: I just have something I need to tell you before you go.
Tony: How do you know I'm going?
Abby: Because I'm Abby Sciuto and I know things.
Tony: Why did I ask?
Abby: I know how much Ziva really loved you. And I need to know that you know that too.
Tony: I do. I think.
Abby: Don't think. Know. I know. She told me. I'm really going to miss you, Anthony DiNozzo.
Tony: Not half as much as I'm going to miss you, Abby Sciuto.

Abby: McGee, I want to celebrate that you can light up a room as fast as you can ping a phone.
McGee: Well thanks!
Abby: Hashtag: living rocks.
Gibbs: Hashtag get to the point.
Abby: Oh my God, Gibbs. You just used the word hashtag in a sentence

Senior: They took her fingerprints and I'm hoping that Abby can find a match.
Tony: Dad that's very commendable but you can't ask Abby to break agency rules for a personal favor.
Abby: We got a hit.
Tony: You ran the prints?
Abby: Of course, I did, Tony. Poor homeless woman in need of medical care? That's a no-brainer.

Tony: Okay but I guess I won't be able to tell you the middle name McGee's been holding out on us.
Abby: Farragut.
Tony: Does everybody know?

Abby: Luca, this is very special Agent Tony DiNozzo. Tony, this is my little brother Luca.
Tony: It's nice to meet you, Luca. You're under arrest.

Abby: She's a sleeper agent. And she's using you.
Luca: Well she must have a good reason.

Abby: We are going after whoever murdered those people.
Luca: It wasn't her.
Abby: After the last few days, how can you say that?
Luca: Innocent until proven guilty. You taught me that. Mom and Dad too. Three years ago, when you told me we were adopted, it all made sense. That's why we are who we are, you and me. Our family takes people in and helps them, sight unseen. And I need you to accept me, sunshine, unicorn farts and al

Abby: You forget about South Sudan, mister. You're not going anywhere.
Gibbs: Abby--
Abby: Don't Abby me. You collapsed in the squad room, Gibbs. What part of that is okay with you?
Gibbs: Were you there? I did not collapse.
Bishop: Yeah, you kind of did, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Aw swell. Where's DiNozzo? Where's McGee? Let's bring the whole gang in here.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott