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Ncis

McGee: How long have they been at it?
Abby: Like an hour. I heard Ducky curse, ten minutes ago. I mean, well I think he did. I'm not that familiar with British profanity.

Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
Ducky: Who?

Coyle: What is with you people? I am not the enemy. I am conducting a mandatory agent-involved shooting investigation.
Abby: Well I don't like it when people mess with my team.

Abby: I believe in magic, prayer and logic equally. Is that childish?
Honeycutt: No, it's impossible.
Abby: So is what you're saying.

I know rule 62 is to always give people space when they get off the elevator but this is really important and I don't want to waste any time.

Oh, boo hoo. My super hot, super smart girlfriend likes me too much? McGee, this is not about space. It's about you being scared. Scared that things aren't going to work out, and somebody's going to get hurt, and then you have to deal with those messy emotions. Delilah is like the best thing that's ever happened to you. You can't protect yourself from everything.

Palmer: I'm so not having kids.
Abby: Okay Jimmy. That does it. Excuse us, director, but something has gotten into Mr. Palmer, and I would like to get it out now.
Vance: Well don't let me interfere.

Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.

Abby: I'm still stuck on the fact that you can draw. I mean this isn't Kate good but it's good good.
Bishop: Who's Kate?
Abby: That would take a few hours and a whole box of tissues.

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