Abby: Is this an order?
Vance: Yes! Go be a bad guy!

Abby: This is my nightmare! The only thing missing is Vance riding in on demon wings to fire me!
Torres: Well, that makes sense.
Abby: I usually wake up when his mustache turns into a snake.

Quinn [about a formerly broken plate]: How’d you get rid of the crack?
Abby [innocently]: Crack? What crack?

Abby: They're Navy rats.
Reeves: Officers or enlisted?

I love animals, but I think I'd love my husband more.

Abby: Gibbs, I can't have a conversation by myself!
Gibbs: It's never stopped you before.

I don't kick down doors. Are you saying I'm not a crime fighter?

Abby: Hey Tony.
McGee: Vance got a call.
Tony: Ziva. Are we sure?
McGee: I'm so sorry, Tony.

Abby: I just have something I need to tell you before you go.
Tony: How do you know I'm going?
Abby: Because I'm Abby Sciuto and I know things.
Tony: Why did I ask?
Abby: I know how much Ziva really loved you. And I need to know that you know that too.
Tony: I do. I think.
Abby: Don't think. Know. I know. She told me. I'm really going to miss you, Anthony DiNozzo.
Tony: Not half as much as I'm going to miss you, Abby Sciuto.

Abby: McGee, I want to celebrate that you can light up a room as fast as you can ping a phone.
McGee: Well thanks!
Abby: Hashtag: living rocks.
Gibbs: Hashtag get to the point.
Abby: Oh my God, Gibbs. You just used the word hashtag in a sentence

Senior: They took her fingerprints and I'm hoping that Abby can find a match.
Tony: Dad that's very commendable but you can't ask Abby to break agency rules for a personal favor.
Abby: We got a hit.
Tony: You ran the prints?
Abby: Of course, I did, Tony. Poor homeless woman in need of medical care? That's a no-brainer.

Tony: Okay but I guess I won't be able to tell you the middle name McGee's been holding out on us.
Abby: Farragut.
Tony: Does everybody know?

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”