Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: Hey, I heard a great joke. A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "Well, if you think you're a moth, why are you at a dentist's office?"
J.D.'s narration: Oh, no, I forgot the punchline... You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
J.D.: ...So the moth says "That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I...I do dabble in orthodontry - braces and such." And... and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
J.D.'s narration: "The light was on"!
J.D.: "But! To answer your original question, which was, if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office? The answer is, Because the light was on!" The light! The light, James. Moths love light. So, James, other than your funny bone being broken, what seems to be the problem?

Dr. Kelso: I'm just here to get a nasal speculum.
Carla: I just wish I didn't hate that mole so much.
Dr. Kelso: I used one of these on my wife once. She's a terrible snorer. She used to keep me up all night. I made her have the surgery but, of course, that just made things worst. But here's a twist: now, whenever she goes out the town, I can't fall asleep without the sound of that gasping, weezing woman lying right next to me. Trust me, if I ever met a Japan air-stewardess who snored like Enid I'd marry her tomorrow. But here's the point: you might find out that thing you hate so much is the very same thing you miss when it´s gone.
Carla: Thank you, sir.

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