Kevin and Santa
Kevin sits on Michael's lap in the Christmas episode of The Office, "Secret Santa." Michael soon regretted extending that invite.

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The Office
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The Office Season 6 Episode 13: "Secret Santa"
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The Office Season 6 Episode 13 Quotes

If this were Russia, yeah sure. Everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block and once you sat on her lap and she'd ask you what you wanted, you would say probably "freedom." At which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.

Michael

Ho ho ho! Why pay more to sit next to old Tranny Claus over there, when you can sit on my lap. Phyllis is only ... pretending to be a man, I'm the real thing. Sit down on my lap and there will be no doubt! [awkward silence] No it's not, not like penis-wise.

Michael