Ben wanted to believe he was a nice guy, but what he'd done had changed him.

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Showtime
Show:
The Affair
Episode:
The Affair Season 4 Episode 9: "4.09"
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The Affair Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

Alison: What happens to people like us?
Ben: What do you mean?
Alison: The ones who can't be forgiven.
Ben: The shrinks would say we need to forgive ourselves.
Alison: I can't.

Alison: So that's what you walk around with, every day?
Ben: When I got back home, I couldn't stand Heidi anymore. It wasn't her fault. It just, I wish she looked at me, the way she needed me. One night we got in bed and I tied her in bed on her stomach so I wouldn't have to look at her face, not even when Bodie started to cry. I got clean after that, and I haven't touched a drink since. I haven't touched her, either.