(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.) Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs) (Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.) Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening. Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.
Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen. Homer: Well I- Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"