Alan and a Prostitute
When Alan can't stand the idea of getting emotionally involved with another woman, he has Charlie hire him a prostitute.

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Two and a Half Men
Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 14: "Winky-Dink Time"
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes

Alan: So, did you make the call?
Charlie: Everybody wants me to pimp for them. I might as well get a purple hat, high boots, and a full-length fur coat.
Alan: If anyone can pull it off, it's you.

Berta: So, Zippy's getting a hooker?
Charlie: It would appear so.
Berta: Talk about earning your money.