Principal W. Seymour Skinner is the principal of Springfield elementary on The Simpsons.  Seymour was actually born Armin Tamazarian but swapped places with his seargeant when he returned from Vietnam war.  Now he lives with his mother and has an on and off again relationship with Edna Krabappel.  His greatest nemesis is either Bart or Superintendent Chalmers, you decide.

Principal Skinner Quotes

Principal Skinner: (Over phone) I know Weinstein's parents were upset Superintendent, but I was sure it was a phony holiday. I mean, it sounds so made-up: Yom kip-pur!

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

The Simpsons Quotes

Repent! Repent! Before it's too late! (giggles) I always wanted to do that in a New England church.

Lisa

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa