Peter Griffin is the overweight patriarch of Family Guy.  Peter is voiced by the show's creator, Seth McFarlane.

Peter, of questionable intelligence and ambition, somehow manage to land the beautiful, intelligent, and wealthy Lois.  Hey, I guess that's why they call it television.

Although Peter's best friend is definitely his talking dog, Brian, he also has his great drinking buddies, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland, who he gets into all sorts of zany adventures with.

Peter Griffin Quotes

[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Peter

Peter: Lois, I'm packing for Kissstock and I can't find my favorite underwear!
Lois: You mean the one with the hole in the left butt cheek from you tore them pulling them up in the airplane bathroom when you had the trots?
Peter: No, the one with the hole in the right butt cheek from when I held it in during the extra-long sunday service mass because I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus, and I let it go in the vestibule, and it sounded like Louis Armstrong?
Lois: Oh. Middle drawer!

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Family Guy Quotes

Oh, Lois just texted. Burgers or meatballs for dinner? I'll text back for you. Same things, bitch, just different shapes.

Stewie [to Peter]

Stewie: "Brian, is this our vacation?"
Brian: "Yea."
Stewie: "Oh...are we trash?"
Brian: "Kinda."