Ned Flanders is Homer's neighbor and worst friend on The Simpsons. Ned is a devout Christian and more or less a perfect human being. Ned lost his wife to a freak NASCAR-related injury and is forced to raise his sons, Rod and Tod alone. Ned has proven to be quite the eligible bachelor as a successful business owner (of the Leftorium) and in suprisingly good shape.
I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?Ned
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Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned Flanders: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.
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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
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