Ned Flanders is Homer's neighbor and worst friend on The Simpsons.  Ned is a devout Christian and more or less a perfect human being.  Ned lost his wife to a freak NASCAR-related injury and is forced to raise his sons, Rod and Tod alone.  Ned has proven to be quite the eligible bachelor as a successful business owner (of the Leftorium) and in suprisingly good shape.

Ned Flanders Quotes

I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?

Ned

Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned Flanders: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer