Lyndsey McElroy, played by Courtney Thorne-Smith, is Jake's best friend's mom gone Alan's girlfriend.  She also happens to be Judith and Herb's neighbor.  Oh her seedy back history includes a softcore porn.

Lyndsey McElroy Quotes

Lyndsey: Oh, God. You saw "Cinnamon's Buns?"
Charlie: Not all the way through. Though I'm very familiar with the bakery shop scene in the middle. You know, with the frosting gun?

Charlie: Give me in the lay of the land.
Lyndsey: You mean who in this land can you lay?

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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Charlie: For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.
Alan: But that guy is never me.