Ed O'Neil plays Jay, the patriarch on ABC's Modern Family.  Jay is a guys' guy who's in a bit of a mid-life crisis and has re-married a woman, Gloria, who is much much much younger than him.  Good for Jay.

Jay Pritchett Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Gloria: We're very different, he's from the city, he has big big business and I come from a small village, very poor but very very beautiful. It is the number one village in all Colombia for all the, what's the word?
Jay: Murders.
Gloria: Yes, the murders

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Modern Family Quotes

But if you're always telling yourself how lucky you are, it's probably because you're afraid to ask yourself how happy you are. Right?

Dylan

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay