Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Ed O'Neil plays Jay, the patriarch on ABC's Modern Family.  Jay is a guys' guy who's in a bit of a mid-life crisis and has re-married a woman, Gloria, who is much much much younger than him.  Good for Jay.

Jay Pritchett Quotes

Gloria: We're very different, he's from the city, he has big big business and I come from a small village, very poor but very very beautiful. It is the number one village in all Colombia for all the, what's the word?
Jay: Murders.
Gloria: Yes, the murders

If you put on a puffy, white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old, you're gonna be swinging from a flagpole in your puffy, white underpants

Jay [to Manny]

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Mitchell
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