Pandora Season 2 Episode 7 Review: A Fool Such As I

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Dang it. I was starting to really have some hope and then Pandora Season 2 Episode 7 happened.

With only three episodes left and a freakin' universe to save, it seems rather irresponsible to be throwing the clones of dead brothers and babies (that are, again, clones) into the mix.

Also, enough with the classical Earth references.

I was skeptical about Ralen quoting gladiator lines on Pandora Season 2 Episode 5 but for a secessionist force trying to leave the Earth Confederacy to call themselves Bellum Batonianum is just contradictory in nature.

Xander and Ralen - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

They've seeded the season with a multitude of characters capable of reprising and yet, certain characters we'd expect to recur are completely M.I.A.

They've already had Alika show up, having survived her wedding day, to save Xander et al on Aluna 4.

Here, we have the Courier from Pandora Season 2 Episode 1 turning up, this time at the head of an armed and violent terrorist organization.

Of course, I noted then that he name-dropped Bey Terahn (or Bay Turan, the pronunciation seems to have shifted since it was first introduced) during Xander's interrogation.

The Courier: Captain, anything happens to me and you'll answer to Bey Terahn.
Xander: The terrorist?
The Courier: Freedom fighter.
Xander: Agree to disagree.

I had predicted the Turan would play into the season but that the Courier wouldn't reappear. So, I was sort of right since the Courier turned out to be Turan.

The Courier - Pandora Season 2 Episode 1

Meanwhile, we've gone a while without a Tierney or Eve sighting and an even longer while since seeing Harlan Fried.

Fried, specifically, I'd expect to be more of a focal point as multiple parts of Xander's interstellar investigation have been pointing to Parallax as a major factor in the unrest in the Outer Rim colonies.

Captain Roy Scantron is a fun addition, but it's almost painful how much of a Star-Lord rip-off he is in regards to the vintage memorabilia and musical penchants.

Scantron: I'm just a long-haul trucker trying to make his way in the world. What, y'all ain't never done nothin' just 'cause you need the cash?
Xander: Nothing illegal.
Jett: Speak for yourself, cap.

My money's on him and sister Bertha showing up in the finale.

Like the Courier/Turan, he knows a bit too much about stuff he shouldn't know about to be just let loose on the galaxy.

A New Crew - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

As for the bulk of the narrative, I'm honestly at a loss as to which character's insanity I disliked more -- Xander's brother fixation or Jax's mommy psychosis.

On the one hand, Xander's issues with his brother's death were introduced on Pandora Season 2 Episode 4 with his nightmares about his mother wanting him dead in Zion's place.

On the other, Jax's own arrival as a baby was witnessed on Pandora Season 2 Episode 3.

Furthermore, her own mother, presumed dead, is now known to be working at cross-purposes and traipsing all over the galaxy with her half-sister.

So maybe her spontaneously gestating her own clone was foreshadowed in a weird way? Nah, it was a dirty plot bomb lobbed out of left field.

Newborn - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

What it did do was provide the opportunity for Zazie to activate Evil Mode.

Also, how is Jax not suspicious that Zazie completely okay with the fact Jax goes from nausea to motherhood in a short week?

This, after Alika warned her about Zazie?

Shral: Look, I know this isn't easy...
Jax: Oh, you think? First, I find out that I'm not even a human and then that the fate of the universe relies on me and now I have something growing inside of me that may not even be a real baby. I'm only a twenty-two-year-old sophomore. This is so not fair.

To understate the situation, there's a lot on Jax's plate and the fact that her uncle is in hiding, her roommate is a spy (and now a baby-snatcher), and her boyfriend(s) are all off-planet doesn't help to balance any of the pressure.

That being said, she's also admittedly young, inexperienced, and untrained in most everything to do with saving the universe.

Xander, in contrast, doesn't get to use those excuses.

Unhappy Xander - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

He trained under Osborn, led multiple field ops, and is, I assume, old enough to know better.

But he never does know better, does he? And if he does, he certainly doesn't do better.

Yes, I get that finding a clone of your dead brother is probably going to blow your mind but how does anything Xander has learned or experienced lead him to think that a clone of Zion will manifest his memories?

And HOW THE HELL DOES IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

Brothers Again - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

You don't get to call yourself science fiction when the science is this bad.

And when it comes to chain of command, I think Ralen would've been within all rights to relieve Xander of command as soon as he ordered Jett to revive a cloned and programmed soldier.

Having Ralen pledge his loyalty to Xander as they left Aluna 4 was a clunky and uncharacteristically illogical action written in to lend Xander credibility he has never earned.

I've always been a coward but y'all inspired me to be a better man.

Scantron

They do it again here with Scantron lauding Xander's noble and admirable behavior.

Without exception, Captain Duvall gets people killed and only survives his own miscalculations by ridiculous chance and, sometimes, the goodwill of others.

He might've made a decent architect though. Shame that path wasn't taken.

Zazie Deep in Thought - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

So, where's Zazie gone with Bloom? I'm pretty sure she's taken the kid straight to Tierney and Eve, wherever they are.

In the grand scheme of things, does the Parallax/TN5 conspiracy matter? Will it play into the unification of the races?

Anyone else notice that Jax's necklace disappeared when she decided to keep Bloom? Continuity error, or indicative of her going off track?

By the way, if there's any consistancy with Bloom's growth -- and WHY would I even presume there would be -- she should be walking within a week and a fully-grown Pandora (yay, ANOTHER Jax!) by the time the universe gets zapped by the Ancients.

Thoughtful Jett - Pandora Season 2 Episode 7

So, yeah, I'm not sure how the main world-ending problem will be solved but we won't know unless we watch Pandora online.

I guess. Right?

Sigh.

A Fool Such As I Review

Editor Rating: 1.5 / 5.0
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Rating: 1.3 / 5.0 (6 Votes)

Diana Keng is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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Pandora Season 2 Episode 7 Quotes

Scantron: I'm just a long-haul trucker trying to make his way in the world. What, y'all ain't never done nothin' just 'cause you need the cash?
Xander: Nothing illegal.
Jett: Speak for yourself, cap.

Shral: Look, I know this isn't easy...
Jax: Oh, you think? First, I find out that I'm not even a human and then that the fate of the universe relies on me and now I have something growing inside of me that may not even be a real baby. I'm only a twenty-two-year-old sophomore. This is so not fair.