That was not easy to watch.
The Affair Season 5 Episode 5 was told from two perspectives, and both were from some of the most unlikeable characters on the series.
We'll start with Helen because it's becoming increasingly clear that she's more suited to Noah than she would like anyone to believe.
It's easy to see why Sasha was a hit with Helen. He possessed Noah's looks and some of his charm.
Helen was attracted to Noah, so she's looking at Sasha as a replacement for the man she loved the most, and that's starting to prove problematic.
On paper, Sasha is infinitely more famous than Noah, but at his core, he's probably just as bad.
Helen felt like she was making strides in her personal and professional life as a result of being associated with Sasha.
But Sasha is breaking promises to the ones he cares about the most, and that's why Helen is starting to have second thoughts about him.
Noah: Come on, don't you feel anything for me anymore?
Helen: If I feel anything for you, I feel sorry for you. Because you've managed to turn 50 and not know how to be an adult.
Noah: Oh, and Sasha Mann does?
Helen: Yeah, I think so.
Noah: Come on, Helen, he's playing me ... he's pretending to be me. It's so obvious. You're in love with me.
Helen: He's you, but he's better. And please, just admit to yourself, the only reason you want me right now is because he does.
Noah: No, as usual, you're not listening to what I'm saying. I came here to tell you I love you. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I know I've made some mistakes, but the only important thing is that I love you. I've always loved you.
Helen: I actually don't know what that word means to you.
Noah: It means that I deserve a second chance.
Helen: You had a second chance. Many times, and you fucked them all up, and I would be a fucking idiot to go back there.
Helen: Noah, I don't love you anymore. I don't want your love. It terrifies me, and it's caused me nothing but pain. So, I'm done.
The relationship has moved at a brisk pace, and there's no denying that Helen has been clouded by the honeymoon period.
Now, Sasha's flaws are starting to appear, and that will make her question whether he's the right man for her after all.
Noah's admission of love to Helen felt like it came out of nowhere in this installment, but I'm sure we will get his side of things on The Affair Season 5 Episode 6.
Noah is an ass. There's no getting away from that, but he and Helen have much in common, and that's partly why they clicked all those years ago.
It may sound out there, but they are both toxic individuals. They belong together, and it's hard to imagine an ending in which they don't find their way back to each other.
The message of The Affair Season 5 appears to be that you can destroy your life and those around you, but you can still go home again.
If you watch The Affair online, you know that Noah has battled his way back into the lives of Helen and his kids.
He's made some great strides with most of his kids, and he even got a seal of approval from Margaret -- Helen's mother, of all people.
Margaret thinks it would be easier for Helen to be with Noah because he can be easily manipulated into going back East.
But we also need to take into consideration that Noah isn't as bad as he once was. He was so clouded by his feelings for someone else that he never stopped to think about whether he still loved Helen.
Sierra: Could you watch him for me? I'm kind of desperate.
Helen: Well, you brought a child into this world. Figure it out.
He most definitely used Vik's death to get closer to her, and that's a sucky thing to do, but he's trying.
It won't be surprising in the slightest if Helen recognizes that Noah is the man for her in the coming episodes.
All she has to think about is whether he even got bothered that Alison died, and she has her answer. Yes, it's utterly bizarre that Noah doesn't seem to be affected by the loss of the woman that ended his marriage, but here we are.
Helen struck me as selfish on multiple occasions during this installment, especially when she was trashing Sierra, and it happened in both perspectives.
Helen's Friend: This is basically your debut.
Helen: As what?
Helen's Friend: Sasha Mann's girlfriend.
Need we remind Helen of her antics on The Affair Season 2 Episode 4? That time she got drunk and high and forgot about her kids, so she drove to pick them up before crashing her car and hurting Stacey?
Helen could use a nice dose of reality.
But that's not to say Sierra is perfect. I rolled my eyes the moment her name appeared on the screen because I figured her perspective was not required for the narrative.
Boy, I was so wrong.
The contrast between her perspective and Helen's was like night and day.
Sierra is genuinely struggling to the point that she needs to get herself help, or she runs the risk of harming her child.
Sierra left the child in her car to attend an audition and left him in the care of a minor before crashing her car while drunk just to get him to stop crying.
Helen could have been nicer, but we know that Helen is not the type of person to mince words. She says what she thinks -- even if she thinks it will hurt.
The addition of Jennifer Jason Leigh as Sierra's mom was a welcome one. We've heard so much about the actress mother who is so rich that she sends her daughter gifts yet fails to actually be a mother.
She was cold-hearted and failed to take much of an interest in her daughter's life. It's no wonder Sierra acts the way she does.
Her mother seems worried that her daughter outshines her when it comes to acting, and that's likely why she suspiciously caught the flu when Sierra was supposed to start filming her breakout role.
If her mother really cared, she would have found a babysitter and sent her Sierra's way.
That's not to say Sierra should get away with her actions. She's proven to be a negligent mother who can't stand the pressure of bringing up a child alone.
It's really sad. Leaving the child with Stacey in the name of going to work was bad enough, but following that up with a night on the town is unforgivable.
It must be tough looking after a child on your own, especially when you didn't expect to get pregnant.
But Sierra's storyline doesn't strike me as one that's going to get a happy ending.
What are your thoughts on the way things played out?
Were you miffed by the lack of Montauk circa 2050?
Hit the comments.
The Affair continues Sunday on Showtime.
Paul Dailly is the Associate Editor for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.