Charlotte and Maze were desperately trying to breathe life into an otherwise dull hour of Lucifer.
The real kicker is that by the end of Lucifer Season 3 Episode 19, Maze, too, found herself in the clutches of Cain, and now what? Does that give us some sort of a triangle of evil, too?
Despite the fact that Tom Ellis promised the homestretch would be some of their best, I'm beginning to think there is no way to recover from the skids we hit when Cain realized he was still stuck on earth.
Maze, much like viewers, was all over the map with her emotions. Ultimately, she wanted to give up and go home.
Who can blame her? Nothing she does turns out as she hopes, and if putting yourself out there with a soul leads to it getting crushed, who would want to bother? She's like a baby doe in the emotional headlights, with nobody to protect her from oncoming traffic.
It was a decent plan to think Lucifer would pick her up by her belt loops and thrust her back into hell himself before allowing her to be too much of a problem for his dear Chloe, but then she must have momentarily forgotten he wouldn't do anything that might harm Chloe.
And the last time Lucifer acted as a celestial Uber, as he called it, Chloe was harmed.
All that time Maze wasted trying to tie into her human emotions and getting in touch with her soul Lucifer was busily ignoring Chloe. Maze missed her window of opportunity for growing tired of humans.
Lucifer: Anyway, point is feelings and humans suck. So. At least we have each other.
Maze: I'm always going to be the consolation prize for you. You only care about me when you don't have Chloe.
Lucifer: Maze, now hold on, that's...
Maze [tears streaming down her face]: NO! No one puts me first, least of all you! None of you deserve me.
It was a shame hearing her say she's not the first on anybody's list. Maze and Linda aren't in the best place at the moment, but when Linda stepped back and realized what her actions with Amenadiel were doing to Maze, she put her friend first. It might have been difficult for Maze to see, but someone is thinking of her.
She's using her newly found emotions and her feelings for humans to make her decision about going back to hell. She's hurt and lost and thinks returning to where it all started will help her buck up and fly right.
Unfortunately for Maze, she just got ensnared by a beast of the human kind, Cain. He's going to manipulate her even further knowing better than anyone on earth how emotions work because he's had time to watch them and work them since they began.
He'll use her pain to help him achieve his goal of death by assuring her she'll return to hell in the process, or at the very least get revenge on those who hurt her.
Of course, she wants neither of those things. She wants things to go back to the way they were when she was spending time with Trixie, getting to know the ladies and discovering what it was like to have friends without constantly inflicting or receiving pain.
Way to go, Lucifer. This has all worked out swimmingly.
Our other standout storyline will only add to the torture. While Maze was out ruining hugs for Ella, Charlotte was conferring with Linda about what she'd learned about Amenadiel and Lucifer.
You have to admire a woman who doesn't immediately think men like the two of them are pulling a con.
Charlotte: You have to hear how crazy it really was. He said Lucifer is his brother. Which I guess is possible if one of them were adopted or raised with a different accent. Then he said I was his step-mom. But he's a grown man! His father would have to be ancient.
Linda [laughs weirdly]: Right!
Charlotte: As if I would go running around marrying old men and then forgetting all about it. Would I?
The real kick in the pants of this story is all Charlotte had to do was think intelligently and believe them. For doing that, she was granted the truth and shown Lucifer's wings.
Just. Like. That.
Chloe, meanwhile, has decided Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Maze have odd quirks. When Lucifer straight up talks about sending Maze to hell and calls her a demon, she laughs it off as if he's just this side of sane with a pinch of lunacy. She trusts him with her life, though, when a lunatic with a gun is staring them head-on during a crime.
You have to wonder whether she deserves to hear the truth, and more importantly if Amenadiel and Lucifer should ever be the ones to tell it to her.
If I hung around with people who brought up the devil, demons, and hell as often as Lucifer, Maze, and Amenadiel did, I'd start to have some concerns about them. Are they in a cult? Are they the right people to have around my daughter? What's up with them and their fascination with demons and the devil?
And if I were Luci and Amenadiel, I'd have to take a step back and wonder why I found it so easy to trust other humans with my secret -- others who haven't found themselves in mortal danger -- but I can't tell the one person who is supposed to be regarded above others.
It's just not working for the story. None of these people or beings are supposed to be witless, and in all other situations but one, we give them the benefit of that doubt. It is only when interacting with Chloe that everything falls to pieces.
Chloe and Lucifer both acting as if they forget what they were becoming to each other is irritating. Lucifer allowing Dan to grow close to Chloe when he knows there is a chance Cain isn't sincere is ludicrous. That there isn't a better storyline for the pair by now is beyond words.
Bits -n- Bobs I Can't Neglect:
Ella: Ugh. I hate beach murders. So mean. Just let people swim. Oh, bless you, Ella.
Did the case of the week tie into the events of the week? I usually admire how they teach Lucifer something, but I missed it in my boredom.
- Dan's advice to Pierce likening Lucifer to Chloe's cat was beautiful. When Cain said he'd get rid of the cat, I knew I'd never want to see another fun, quirky scene with him again. Die, bastard, die.
OK. That's all I have. Dear God...frey, I hope some of you got from it a lot more than I did. Can you share it with me after you watch Lucifer online or even right now?
Hit me up.
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.