Days of Our Lives Review: The World's Most Contrived Love Triangle

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Someone crashing their rival's wedding to try to sweep the bride off her feet is a soap opera staple.

Bo and Jack both did it in grand, dramatic fashions that have become classic Days of Our Lives clips.

Chad interrupted Gabi and Nick's wedding to reveal that Nick wasn't the father of Gabi's baby and chaos ensued.

All of these were great, soapy moments. But the nonsense over Abigail and Chad's vow renewal ceremony that went on almost all week wasn't.

Abigail Tells Off Kate - Days of Our Lives

From the second Abigail decided to renew her vows, a ton of contrived drama took over the entire show.

Kate decided that Chad belonged with Gabi and made sure to tell everyone she ran across, especially Abigail and Gabi.

Gabi tried to act like she had some morals and refused to go after Chad only because Abigail was her friend.

Abby and Gabi tried not being friends for about five seconds, then Abby started looking for proof that Chad really wanted Gabi and, unsurprisingly, found it in every innocuous statement, even in things that happened years ago.

Andre tried to be the voice of reason and nearly got through. He even got Kate to shut up and participate in the ceremony. But then, for no apparent reason, Abigail announced that she was canceling the ceremony and her marriage to Chad so that Chad could be with Gabi.

Andre: The day has finally come for you and Chad to renew your vows. I can't tell you happy I am. What's wrong?
Abigail: Me. I was wrong. How could I have been so stupid?

There is so much that is ridiculous about this entire scenario that I don't know where to begin. 

First of all, love triangles don't work when there's no rhyme or reason to them. Abby didn't look like a woman suffering from mental illness, not that mental illness is ever depicted correctly on this show. Nor did she seem to be suffering from the kind of low self-esteem that JJ often suffers from.

Abigail looked pathetic, as if she was determined to prove Chad and Gabi were cheating on her and was grasping at straws because there was no real reason for her marriage not to succeed.

On top of that, this wasn't even a wedding. It was a vow renewal ceremony where only four people were invited and for some reason, Kate was one of them. I guess Abby and Chad read some party planning book that advised inviting your worst enemy to make the party memorable.

Gabi's desire not to hurt Chad and Abby just demonstrated that she is as hypocritical as her brother Rafe. A few short months ago, she was gloating to JJ that she was going to win Chad from Abby no matter what. She also had no problem dumping JJ for daring to be honest with her and berating him endlessly for having been raped. 

She screwed over Abigail's brother in order to try to steal Abigail's husband, yet wants to be Abigail's best friend. Now she's dating Abigail and JJ's brand-new-to-the-family cousin, who she is using to get over Chad.

So this business about being a good person who doesn't want to hurt others just doesn't fly.

Chad: Renewing our vows is gonna be awesome!
Kate: You think so, do you? Because I really think -
Andre: Excuse me, darling. Can I have a word with you over here?
Kate: What are you doing?
Andre: Saving you from yourself. The time for your objection to this union is past. I suggest you forever hold your peace.

Not that there weren't good parts to the vow renewal ceremony.

I quite enjoyed Andre putting Kate in her place. This is the delightfully evil Andre I want to see on my screen, not the wise counselor who is Abigail's confidante.

And JJ looked great in his suit! Too bad he was just there to be furniture and didn't have a single meaningful line during this whole contrived scenario.

Eli: What did Gabi ever do to you?
Julie: For one thing, she killed Nick, who was your cousin, and she barely did any prison time for it.
Eli: I was told there were extenuating circumstances.
Julie: Well, here's Nick's circumstances. He's dead. And Gabi's circumstances are, she shot him. Don't be seduced by those big brown eyes.
Eli: Grandma, can I tell you something?
Julie: Of course.
Eli: Once you get to know me better, you'll learn that nobody tells me what to do.

Eli is falling for Gabi and ignoring Julie's advice. Normally I love people who don't let anyone tell them what to do, but I'm team Julie on this one. I don't think Gabi will be good for Eli, especially now that Abigail has chosen to step aside so that Chad and Gabi can be together.

I also objected to Eli basically being given JJ's original character while JJ is shoved onto the back burner most of the time. He and his cousin should be best friends, since they're both cops who are into music, don't let others dictate their lives, and apparently have the same taste in women.

Instead, Eli was in a rush to show his new record collection to Dario, who has never expressed any interest in music before.  His announcement that he wanted to do so was clearly a plot-driven opening for Julie to rant about Gabi, since it wasn't based in anything we know about these characters.

Across town, Nicole spent a lot of time allowing Scooter to attempt to rape her while choosing to keep her mouth shut about it.

What happened to the strong, take-no-prisoners Nicole that many viewers fell in love with?

Brady: I told you, this Scooter jerk... I've got it handled. Scooter, he thinks you're Misty Circle from some movie, but he doesn't know you're Nicole Walker, he doesn't know I'm Brady Black, and he certainly doesn't know what we've been up to. Right?
Nicole: Right.

The Nicole I know and love would have pretended to go along with Scooter while letting the audience in on the fact that she was playing a role, got him caught in the middle of attempting to rape her, and "accidentally" leaked a video of his behavior online while meaning to just show his wife.

Then when the cops came to her door she would have talked her way out of trouble in exchange for turning on him.

She certainly would not have continually let the guy in to continue sexually harassing her over her past while crying that she doesn't want to do this, refused to go anywhere with Brady and the kids so that the harassment could continue, and keep it secret that the guy knew both of their real identities.

The messaging here is gross.

Rape is again made the victim's fault -- after all, if Nicole wouldn't continually let the guy in he wouldn't keep trying to rape her -- and on top of that Scooter's using her past sexual abuse to justify his behavior.

Women, according to this scenario, are weak and stupid and need to go along with a rapist's demands because they don't trust their boyfriends to protect them.

This was disgusting when they did it to Theresa during her exit story and now they're doing the same thing with Nicole.

And on top of the awful messaging, I'm not sure what's so great about Brady that these women are sacrificing their safety and health to keep him from getting hurt. Brady is naive, falls in love with a different woman five minutes after the last relationship blows up, and doesn't really have many redeeming qualities nowadays.

The other big story this week was Rafe's sudden transformation to a super moral cop. Except that he didn't really transform. He just arrested his father because it was convenient for the plot.

I'm still not clear on exactly what Eduardo did besides be in an alley that Rafe expected Deimos to be in. He did something or other with Treasury bonds that was illegal.

That wasn't important. The really important thing is that Rafe arrested his own father because all of a sudden family is not above the law.

I'm thrilled to hear that the law comes first, but it doesn't change the fact that Rafe only feels this way when it's convenient for the plot.

He helped Gabi cover up her part in a kidnapping that led to the death of several people, including Jack Deveraux, and helped Hope cover up her murder of Stefano.  He probably would have helped Gabi cover up her part in Nick's murder too if he'd been able to figure out how.

All of these are far worse than the vague white-collar crime Eduardo engaged in, and Gabi's claim that Rafe felt bad about those things doesn't hold water because we haven't seen any evidence of guilt or remorse on his part at all.

Besides, Rafe isn't done covering for the people he loves. He's just narrowed that field to one person: Hope.

Rafe threatened to arrest Dario if he found out he was doing something illegal. Dario, of course, is busy hacking into Countess Wilhemina's servers to take money that belongs to Lucas, so sooner or later Rafe will have to decide whether to make good on this threat.

Anyway, Rafe then disappeared and it was later revealed he lied to Lieutenant Raines about how Hope came to be part of this operation so that she could get off desk duty.

So much for the people Rafe loves not being above the law. I wish Raines had seen through this nonsense. Maybe then we'd have been spared the unnecessary flirting and kissing in Hope's office.

There were some other random moments that aren't really worth mentioning.

Kayla and Steve are involved in the absolutely stupid storyline of trying to get Tripp to believe that Steve is a better person than Ava while ensuring he never finds out Joey killed his mother.

Claire and Theo had sex and Claire made it clear that her new self-absorbed character is here to stay and that she has no real feelings for Theo.

And Victor and Deimos celebrated getting rid of Eduardo before Marlena told Victor off for interfering with her adult son's love life.

What did you think of Days of Our Lives this week? Did you enjoy any part of Abby and Chad's almost-vow renewal?

Weigh in below and don't forget to check back on Sunday for our Days of our Lives Round Table discussion.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
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Jack Ori is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.

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Days of Our Lives Quotes

I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you enough, Paul, that I wasn't attentive enough. But my dead husband might not be dead, Paul, so I'm sorry I'm not there for you 24/7

Sonny

What kind of name is Summer anyway? I bet she's a stripper.

Theresa