In the most rewarding moment of the episode, Jesus finally woke up.
But the real miracle was that I managed to get through The Fosters Season 4 Episode 12 without throwing something at the television in frustration. I came embarrassingly close to doing it a few times. I can admit that.
It was that kind of episode, for sure. So why don't we take a few deep breaths, count to ten, and discuss it. Shall we?
Is there anything more despicable than people in power abusing their authority? I'm hard pressed to find much that tops it. Although, lack of common sense is quite grating as well.
This is not Callie's first rodeo, and yet, she came across as incompetent as ever at the police station. It was enough to make anyone want to reach through the screen and shake her until she reclaimed a modicum of sense.
She's gone without that for so long, it's hard to know if there's anything left in there.
Callie: What is it?
Detective: Just your statement. It's just a formality. Soon as you sign it, we're all done here.
I'm hard on Callie. I know I can be tough on her, but she's so much smarter than this. She's become one of the most infuriating characters on the show right now.
Rule Number 1: Don't sign S**T without reading it first!
Rule Number 2: If you ever find yourself in an interrogation room at a police station, and you're without counsel, Don't sign S**T. PERIOD.
Were you gritting your teeth during that whole interrogation? Because I was gritting my teeth.
Callie isn't legally an adult and should not have been interrogated the way that she was without a parent or an attorney present. I know she knows this and yet there she was.
Detective Douche (that's what he shall be called from hereon out) shouldn't have been anywhere near that damn case. He's a homicide detective...what the hell are you doing over there? He didn't even hide the fact that he had an ax to grind.
It is a professional courtesy to contact a fellow officer when there's something going on with their loved ones. My mixed feelings on blue loyalty over everything, it's part of the freaking code. Why get selective on that now?
The detective allowing Detective Douche to dictate how he was handling his investigating was so asinine it had me shrieking and sputtering in disbelief. He questioned it, acknowledged that something was hinky about it, picked up that Detective Douche was in fact being a Douche, and still went along with it anyway.
Anything to make a case, am I right?
Callie is a classic example of someone's past coming back to haunt them. In this case everything about her was stacked up neatly to be used against her. And are we supposed to just ignore the fact that Juvenile records are sealed?
How about the fact that no one so much as called Aaron who was on the phone with her when the accident happened, we're ignoring that too?
Thank God, Mike challenged it all. Can we just take a moment to appreciate Mike Foster?
He's such an integral part of the Foster-Adams family, even though he doesn't get nearly enough love or credit for it. How many guys can divorce their wife, work as her partner everyday, and co-parent not only his biological kid but the other kids too?
Mike is a flawed character and he has some less than stellar moments, but he's still a pretty awesome dude. Don't fight me on this.
I was so glad he called Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum on being jackasses abusing their power. I was also beyond thrilled when Stef showed up.
Protective Stef Foster is not to be trifled with, and she was damn near ready to come to blows over her daughter. God, I love Stef Foster.
You need to let me talk to my daughter!Stef
Stef Foster basically called the arresting officer a "bitch." Does it get any more badass than that? I think not.
As if the entire ordeal wasn't awful enough, Troy got away scott-free. If it was really about the serious nature of this crime, than please, someone, tell me why Troy wasn't getting hemmed up too? He still left the scene of an accident. It was his car. He was driving.
Charging Callie is one thing, but not charging Troy with anything at all is absolutely absurd.
So Troy got to exploit the fact that Callie is a career juvenile offender, and take advantage of the fact that she's been investigating him on her own and harassing people.
You're a liar, I know you killed your grandmother and I'm going to prove it.Callie [to Troy]
Callie couldn't just let that go though. Even a Callie in cuffs still finds a way to make the most disastrous decisions on this side of the hemisphere, because she accused the man of killing his grandmother and shouted her mission to prove it as she was being carted away.
Callie, why the hell are you like this?
And if they didn't stick it to Callie enough, they sent her to the juvie for hard-knocks and for reasons that I can't string together, they searched her like she was an adult woman, including a cavity search, and by that time I was raging.
By the time they chose to elude to male guards sexually abusing the young girls, I disassociated in an effort to keep my blood pressure down. It was a good thing too, because Callie [potentially] being charged as an adult, would have did me in otherwise.
They're really good kids. They're just making bad decisions.Lena
Lena summed up the entire series with one quote. God bless, Lena. Also, protect her at all costs!
When Lena Adams-Foster cries, we all cry. She had me all misty-eyed when she broke down sobbing the way that she did. I'm so worried about her.
It's too much for Lena. She knows it. Stef knows it. We all know it.
The evasive, "wait and see" answers they were getting about Jesus' condition coupled with the Brandon situation, and the Callie situation was enough to drive her to tears.
Remember you can handle anything in the moment. It's our fear that undoes us.Older lady
But Angels walk the Earth. The Fosters always has that quality that gives me flashbacks to WB family dramas of the past like 7th Heaven and Touched By an Angel, and this go round it was the latter.
The sweet old lady giving her life advice and being a support to her was predictable. As soon as she mysteriously appeared, the writing was clear on the wall that she was some sort of angelic presence, but it didn't make her presence any less enjoyable.
It was just the push she needed in a trying time.
I much preferred it over Jesus' creepy dream sequence.
There is so much guilt floating around it's hard to process it all. Jesus' entire dream sequence was him feeling guilty for not being able to protect Mariana.
Kid Mariana, Mariana getting shot, and Mariana in a casket, it was all hard to watch.
It was interesting to see and hear, based on some of the things he said, that Jesus was always the protective one. That wasn't something I picked up on in the first two seasons.
Jesus' protective streak hasn't been prominent until more recently. It always felt like Mariana was the one that looked out for them, but it sounded like Jesus always took it upon himself to look after his sister.
It was an interesting tidbit of information to get from his dreams. So was insecurity about being perceived as "dumb" based on his imagining Brandon (who notoriously makes terrible choices regarding women) and Emma (who notoriously carries herself like she's intellectually superior than her peers).
It was such a relief when his swelling went down, and his fever broke. But that was relief was fleeting, because he woke up from his coma and attempted to speak but his words were unintelligible.
We've already had to watch Jesus fight for his life, are any of us emotionally prepared to deal with him battling aphasia?
Mariana: What was she doing in that guy's car anyway?
Stef:[pauses] Uh, she was looking for you, love.
I'm still trying to make sense of Mariana choosing to sleep with Mat. It was a rather abrupt choice for her to make, and a rather odd choice the writers made as far as putting that into this episode.
She was already dealing with blaming herself for Jesus being in the hospital, and also blaming herself for Callie being in juvie. Plus her best friend blamed her too, up until they made up.
The sex thing, followed by Emma getting a pregnancy test for her and Brandon finding out was just, ill placed.
Brandon is at his best (and most relatable) when he's playing up the big brother thing. He tried, bless his heart, to keep the other kids in line while moms were at the hospital.
The problem was Callie had taken off to the police station by then, Mariana was sneaking off and dealing with her PTSD (why have no steps been taken to help her with that?) and Jude was coming down from a high and being sassy as hell.
Hey, what happened to that nice kid who came to stay with us? I miss him.Brandon
I'm starting to make peace with Jude the rebel, but I appreciated Brandon voicing what some of us have been thinking for some time. What happened to that kid?
I still think the funniest and most annoying thing about high Jude is how productive he is while stoned. If the kid aces tests while stoned, and is considerate enough to do chores, how do you deter him from getting stoned?
Brandon: Are you still stoned?
Jude: At least I'm not popping pills.
In Jude's defense, maybe he simply got tired of being the only kid in the household who didn't cause trouble at every turn. It's no fun being the "good kid" when everyone else does whatever they want and deal with the consequences later.
On behalf of all good kids, who spent every waking day doing the right thing while their siblings go to live it up and raise hell, I salute you Jude.
So now, I'll turn it over to you guys. What did you think of the episode? Were you as enraged as I was watching Callie's legal troubles unfold? Do you think Mariana's pregnant? Do you miss kid Jude? What do you think will happen with Jesus now?
Share your thoughts down below. Don't be shy!
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Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.