There's no other way to put it. This season of The Originals has been all over the place in terms of storytelling, dramatic duos, and undead character returns.
The Originals Season 3 Episode 16 just served up another juicy plot twist which has me incredibly eager for The Originals Season 3 Episode 17. I may be more eager to see it than I am to review this one.
But review this one we must. So...
Just when we were starting to dig Lucien and Freya and come up with mashups of their names (Lucya? Frecien?) THIS episode happens and now we're all back to finding Lucien as creepy and untrustworthy as he was when he sliced his own face open in front of a mirror the first time we met him.
(That was super creepy and probably still haunts some deep, dark recesses of my psyche because CLOWNS.)
If writers/producers/whomever didn't want us to know that Lucien was Sofya's boss, they shouldn't have had her Dark Web video stream take place inside Lucien's apartment. Maybe some of y'all didn't catch it, but having spent lots (and lots) of hours on that set, I recognized the backdrop immediately.
I was hoping that Lucien wasn't behind it because I really want him not to be an ass, but alas. He is. And he doesn't even seem very redeemable like Damon or Klaus.
He's all about personal gain and not really about protecting anyone else. Klaus and Damon are both selfish narcissists, but Lucien takes things to a whole 'nother level.
He's fun to watch. He's a great flirt. But, yeah, he's an ass. Dollars to donuts says he's "The Beast" coming for the Originals and that the Big Thing he wants to happen next week on The Originals Season 3 Episode 17 is what turns him into that.
SPOILERish ALERT: (No really. Avert your eyes. I'm talking about next week's preview!)
Lucien wants to recreate the original vampire spell so that he can become one himself. Esther, ever the sneaky witch, probably put a loophole in that spell so that it's a one and done sort of deal. Freya and Vincent will do it and Lucien will become the Beast.
OKAY, it's safe again.
So yeah. Now Lucien has the White Oak bullet. Marcel's too cocky. Elijah figured it out too late. Finn's trapped in his vampire body and Kol can't keep himself contained.
The last two things are actually the most interesting. (Marcel's hot when he's cocky. And when he's not.)
Finn's grand plan upon his return was to have Freya put him into a human body as a witch so that he could live out the rest of his life as a mortal. That wasn't satisfactory for Kol and for decent reason.
Finn killed Kol when they were Finncent and Koleb and Kol's not one to forget so easily.
It wouldn't have been fair for Finn to walk away so easily, so Davina took care of things by permanently trapping Finn in his vampire form. I would have high-fived her were I not in terrible fear for her life.
Kol can't control himself. His anger and bloodlust is going to lead him to hurt Davina, either physically or emotionally. If he would cool his jets for half a second, he'd realize that the solution here is to have Davina help him take over the body of a witch so that he can live out the rest of his days as a mortal who, while he might be prone to anger, probably wouldn't be prone to ripping out his girlfriend's carotid.
Come on, team. You're smart. Figure this out.
There has to be some kind of spell she can do to help him not want to kill everyone if only he'll do that little thing so many couples find really, really difficult: communicate.
It's the crucial element. Talk. To. One. Another.
Hayley and Klaus are sort of figuring that out! Wheee! If anyone can teach Klaus not to be a paranoid jerk all the time, it's Hayley, so I'm pretty excited about their road trip adventure.
Saving wolves, fighting bad guys, and raising their daughter together, all while he's learning how to be a semi-nice (not really) human and she's throwing snark his way every chance she gets?
Hayley really is a queen! Someone get this girl the clean Mason jar to drink out of! She's earned it.
Klaus and Hayley are perfection. (In a totally non-romantic way. For now.)
What did you think of "Alone With Everybody"? Shouldn't they have figured out a little more quickly that it was too easy to get the White Oak bullet? What's next for Kol and Davina? Let's TALK about the episode, y'all! Sound off below and don't forget that you can watch The Originals online!
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.