Alright. I give up.
Right before Eva and Barbie woke up from the cocoon world, they had sex. She's pregnant. How in the hell does that even work??? What on earth am I missing about those cocoons?
It's obvious suspension of disbelief is supposed to be switched farther than I currently have it, because that's the news out of Under the Dome Season 3 Episode 9, among other interesting tidbits. My favorite was simple. Big Jim coining himself and Julia John and Yoko. Hey, I'm easy.
[talking into a walkie talkie] John to Yoko. George and Ringo just torched the Aktaion house. Christine's out for blood.Big Jim
Seriously, though, the summer of fun continues. Would you believe I actually volunteered to review this hour of Under the Dome? I've started looking forward to it as you do a really good popcorn movie.
It's just so fun to watch, and not in the way the world was recently hate-watching True Detective Season 2. There are no expectations, so all the Under the Dome quotes and pop culture references (The Beatles, Dexter, ET, Muppets) making you giggle are a bloody bonus.
The crux of the installment were Christine's body falling the way of the calcifying dome (yay!) via Eva's pregnancy (boo) and Julia's attempt to get Barbie back by way of physical pain (awesome). I would have much rather been shocked by a car battery a la Barbie than been sexed up by Christine like Junior.
There's not much that Christine doesn't think can be cured by sex, is there? When her body first started failing, I thought she gave birth to the amethyst in her hand; literally, that she popped the purple rock out of her abdomen. That would have been kind of cool. Alas, she was just using it as an alien pregnancy test. I suppose she always carries a stone around for one reason or another.
Nothing that you do is going to get me to leave Eva's side. Do you think that baby is going to have her beautiful eyes? This isn't the kinship, Julia. This is me. This is the real me. Whatever it was that you thought was between us, it's over. I don't love you.Barbie
Julia was a bit disappointing in how quickly she freaked out when Big Jim started to really beat on Barbie because, damn, Barbie deserved it. He just got worse and worse as Julia tried get through to him. That it got so far that Indy was useful warning Julia was really surprising. Big Jim shouldn't have left Julia alone with Barbie, even with Indy.
All of that almost backed up my recent declaration that Barbie gotsta go. Except now I don't know. Did love conquer all or didn't it? Barbie has been able to fool Julia before...did he just do it again? Did forcing a kiss on the man through a gun pointed at her head really pull Barbie out of his stupor?
I'm unsure. All I know for sure is the Fab Five should be winning. Maybe the showrunners have forgotten, but the cripple, two horny teenagers, plucky newspaper girl and Big Jim (don't go all PC on me, it was Jim's description, not mine!) are supposed to be the victors. We want the underdogs to prevail. Just because Barbie and Sam are handsome and people liked Marg Helgenberger on CSI doesn't give them the edge. They're aliens!
Alright. So there might be a Fab Six now. We'll have to see how it plays out in Under the Dome Season 3 Episode 10, but the preview very vividly showed Barbie rubbing on Eva's extraordinarily pregnant abdomen, so I'm not holding my breath. I was kind of hoping Barbie switched sides (not really, I'm a pessimist) and Junior paired up with Eva...
Can you believe how jealous Christine was of the young chickies that she didn't even let Junior have one when she knows she's dying? That's pretty rude. It must be nice being queen. Junior never liked being treated thusly (remember how Angie used to dismiss him?), so maybe that will be his trigger to knock him out of the kinship.
But putting his choice of mates into a sacrificial ring of gals (essentially ridding the entire town of 12 young women when Christine's going, too...rough) to...something...for the growing queen baby. Maybe feed it? It sure is a quick pregnancy. Eva is going to have wicked skin issues. Skin isn't made to do that. Just sayin'.
Oh, Joe, Norrie and Hunter had a story, too. You know, until Norrie was crying in the middle of the funeral parlor, it didn't even dawn on me that by being there she was being subjected to recalling the death of both of her mothers (within the last three weeks) every second. That's a rather unfortunate choice for a lair for the group, wasn't it?
Joe's a captive of hot Sam. Why was Sam so easily sucked into the kinship, anyway? He was a rebel. That didn't make sense to me. It's out of character. He had Sam tossed over his shoulder the way old-fashioned people used to toss sacks of potatoes, so the saying goes. Here's hoping John Lennon (Big Jim) saves him. And Yoko. Keep up people!
The first half of the hour was far more fun and eventful. John and Yoko together are gold. When Jim and Julia split up, the show suffers a bit. Jim has to be featured. He's clearly the shining star, so sidelining him even for a couple minutes is damaging. It's a summer show; they have to follow some rules!
Over to you guys. Were you laughing out loud at some of the lines and references? Are you hate/hate watching or love/hate watching Under the Dome? Don't forget you can sneak in and watch Under the Dome online right here; we won't tell anyone!
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer and critic for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Critic's Choice Association, enjoys mentoring writers, cats, and passionately discussing the nuances of television and film. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.