The Real Housewives of New Jersey Review: Wish She Were Gone

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Everyone pondered about how they could be gone at any minute on The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 9. We recap the whining, crying, and colonoscopies in our +/- review. 

I'll admit it. I'm a terrible person. Minus 50 to me because I know cancer is a horrible thing. I've lost loved ones to it but God help me all I can think when I see Amber Marchese on screen is please take her now! 

No, not from this world, just from the show because Amber makes me roll my eyes almost as much as she does Teresa.

I don't know what's worse, hearing Amber badger Teresa Giudice for the latest details of her legal trouble or having to sit through yet another bout of sobbing about her medical issues…all the while watching her incredible cleavage practically fall out of her beaded top. I've heard of plunging necklines but Amber's is ridiculous even for a Housewife…and that's saying something.

Did she really just leave church to call Teresa and grill her for the latest gossip? Minus 30. I guess Amber couldn't pray for Teresa unless she was sure about all the gory details. 

And did she just call Ash Wednesday the beginning of the Lentil season? If so, plus 10 just for making me laugh. The Christian holiday does not celebrate legumes, in case you were wondering. 

The way Amber has latched on to Teresa just makes it all the more obvious that she doesn't have a story of her own. Unfortunately, sometimes it feels like neither does anyone else.

Dina's storyline consists of her semi-ex-husband whom we never see, getting a new wheelchair for her dog, and driving her assistant to the airport. Not exactly thrilling. Minus 12.

Melissa and Joe Gorga are building a 9,000 square foot monstrosity, home. Plus 22 because at least that's worthy of being a Bravo Housewife but they really need to be careful. They could lose the dog or a small child in the cave!

Speaking of the dog, he chewed on Melissa's shoes! Loved when Joe pulled him aside to make it clear, "We don't do that in this house." Plus 25.

Nicole was virtually non-existent this episode but her sister made sure we got a play by play of Rino's prostate exam. I'd gladly kick back a plus 10 if Teresa would stop calling it his "prostrate"

Don't get me wrong. I understand how important it is for men to get their prostate exams and everyone over a certain age to get their colonoscopy but fans of this show don't tune into Bravo for a public service announcement. Whoever thought that hearing Rino call his exam "finger lickin' good" would be entertaining needs to lose their job. Minus 47

And was it really necessary to invite guests over the night before to watch Rino run back and forth to the bathroom? Minus 33.

On the upside, we got to spend some time with Tre's kids and watch her run them to school in her PJs. Plus 15. If you've ever sat in the the school drop off lane you know Teresa's far from the only one. 

But the funniest moment had to be when Dina's daughter Lexi said she felt bad for whoever's job it would be to wrangle Milania at the fashion show. Oh, she's not kidding. 

Even better was Lexi sharing that Milania once told her that, "You're pretty but you used to be ugly." Plus 18. Lexi says she takes it as a compliment coming from Milania. Way to roll with the punches Lexi.

Next week is the trip to Florida and all the mama drama. Will you be watching?

Episode total = -72! Season total = -665!

Which was most entertaining?

There Will Be Bloodwork Review

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C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.

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