The Vampire Diaries Review: Anchor... Away!

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I'm not sure if that was the best installment of The Vampire Diaries. (It wasn't.)

I'm not sure if it was the most coherent. (It definitely wasn't.)

But one thing is certain about The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 6: It was the funniest!

The Bad (?) Doctor

From references to a supernatural Madonna… to Snooki's backyard… to knock-knock jokes about dead mayors… to Paul Wesley's awesome hair... to Jeremy acting like Pocahontas, the writers clearly turned up the humor this week.

Which made for a nice distraction from an hour that was crazier than the doppleganger who showed up toward the tail end of it.

Hey, Katherine is growing old! Look, new travelers are going after Damon's daylight ring! Look over there, Stefan can cook! Wait, there's a secret society?!? And it has its own vampire?!? And he killed Megan?

And Amara is back! Because she was never really dead! But now she wants to be dead and our heroes have to protect her because she holds the key to destroying The Other Side and resurrecting Bonnie!

And people actually put pineapples on pizza?!?

I've gotta imagine Julie Plec and company were aware that this was an especially whirlwind episode with a number of new, head-scratching developments. Hence why they ironically kicked it off with Elena saying how much she enjoys the quiet, peaceful stillness.

That never lasts for more than an hour in Mystic Falls. But it disappeared faster here than any buffet item placed in front of Katherine.

It's all too much at the moment. The Vampire Diaries Season 5 is too all over the place. There are three Elena dopplegangers... we're now going on our second version of Stefan, not counting Silas... travelers are just popping up at random times (and one remains inside Matt, remember)... the biggest shocker in an episode is that Amara - a character in which we have zero emotional attachment or investment - is actually alive.

Yes, we all love The Vampire Diaries because it's totally insane and crazy. But it's possible to be too insane and overly crazy.

The series isn't really about relationships at the moment - except for that of Jeremy and Bonnie and, I'm sorry, but does anyone care about those two? Anyone at all? - which is what truly made it great all along.

Above and beyond the nuttiness, there was that brotherly bond. There was Elena battling her feelings for Stefan and Damon. There was Alaric growing to become a father figure. And Caroline finding her confidence as a vampire, while her friendships with Elena and Bonnie ebbed and flowed.

And Matt even got pretty close to a few patrons at the Grill, didn't he?

But now? It's just one out there twist after another, with many of them having little to do with our core characters. I stole the following point from Daniel Gillies, but think about it:

The Vampire Diaries is reactive, with characters actually wanting to live a life of peace (right, Elena?) but being drawn into situations by outside forces.

The Originals is proactive, with Klaus and company devising their own schemes each week and playing this constant game of very violent chess. And that goes a long way toward explaining why the latter is far more fascinating at the moment. It's a fun game in which all the players are trying to win.

TVD feels like a game in which the rules are being made up as we go and the players are being dragged to various sides against their will.

All that said... I am very much into The Augustine and its affiliated vampire. There seem to be rich possibilities to that storyline. I'd like to be done with Silas and Amara and that confounding mess, however, and I'd really like the fate of Bonnie to be decided prior to 2014.

What did everyone else think? Was this episode too all over the place or are you enjoying the ever-changing dynamics? And let's do a Season 5 check-in: How does it rank at the moment compare to The Vampire Diaries Season 4?

Handle with Care Review

Editor Rating: 2.3 / 5.0
  • 2.3 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.7 / 5.0 (353 Votes)

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Put the damn crossbow down, Pocahontas.


Elena: You're kind of evil. No offense.
Silas: None taken.