Shameless Review: Fire Breathing One-Eyed Dragon

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Do you ever have the urge to hurl your remote at the TV during a show? I guess that's pretty natural for us over here at TV Fanatic, as we're obviously passionate about our television.

And the end of this week's Shameless made it difficult to me to resist this pull.

Surprisingly, it wasn't because a faux Mary Kay Letourneau asked Lip "May I Trim Your Hedges?" It was all Fiona and Jimmy that got me emotional this week.

Working a Scam

FYI: Frank is too much of a moron to even shave Carl's head properly. Let's just get his storyline out of the way because I can't even deal. I know this show is all about the moral dilemmas of "how low can you go?" Our characters often hit rock bottom. With Frank there is rock bottom... there's fifty feet of crap and then him. And yes, I sorta stole that quote from a very old Friends episode.

Stealing the copay for any infant, especially a special-needs infant, and then pricking them with a Jack Daniels soaked thumbtack to fake that they were vaccinated is horrible. I don't care if you agree with kids getting vaccinated or not, pricking them with a whiskey-soaked thumbtack is just a NO. Then shaving your 11-year old's head and telling them they have cancer so you can score an autographed Chicago Bulls basketball from a Make a Wish Foundation to hawk for cash?

Really, need I say more? At least he sorta got Carl into a camp. Carl seemed kind of psyched about that.

It's amazing that in an episode with pedophiles, multiple perverts, crazy lying ex-wives and a violent homophobic teen, that Frank still manages to outshine everyone with his despicable behavior. Now let's get to everyone else...

This week was literally the pervert parade. First, we had the grocery store clerk that will prevent me from ever looking at deli meat the same way again. Good for Fiona for blackmailing that douchenozzle. Get those dayshifts, hunnie.

Then, the guy who was whacking it on the bus to Debs. Poor Debs has seen more by the age of 13 than most people see in a lifetime. She did, however, get her first kiss from the age appropriate and surprisingly sweet Kyle. I say surprisingly sweet because of the crazy bitch he is related to: Kev's ex wife.

She is a crazy bitch and not a crazy bitch like you are, 'oh bitch you're so crazy!' No, she once tried to beat me to death with a frozen fish because I asked if there was more broccoli. | permalink

I loved when Fiona walked in and Kev's ex tried to introduce herself and Fiona pulled out her ghetto side with a snap in the face like "I know who you are bitch." It was a very fierce move you'd normally see from Lafayette on True Blood. Fi and V are the my favorite best friend duo. Fiona was ready to throw down for her girl. But even better than Fi and V are V and Kev. I actually teared up at that moment in the kitchen when he told her she should know better than to think he'd ever leave her. Then I saw the best catfight I've seen in years, bar none.

With the ex-wife taken care of, Mandy did a little butt kicking of her own and took down Blake the faux Mary Kay Letourneau who... umm...pleasured Lip with peanut butter while simultaneously Nair-ing his pubic area. Not gonna lie, but that just sounds like a recipe for getting poisoned and I don't know how Lip didn't notice the rotten egg hell smell that is Nair, but I guess he was sorta preoccupied. While I approve of Mandy using her skills to chase a sex offender from the neighborhood, I have no affection for her brother Mickey.

Mickey blatantly will not admit he's gay and beats the crap out of anyone else who is (except Ian.) Then he up and banged some chick Angie from the neighborhood while Ian was standing right there. After all that, he had the gall to stalk out Ian's date with Jimmy's dad and then beat the crap out of him. Ian should've stayed with Jimmy's dad and taken care of him. Why he is interested in Mickey is beyond me. Mickey is the worst!

Finally, we come full circle to the scene that had me almost throwing my remote at the TV: Fiona crying in bed while kissing Jimmy and telling him she trusted him.

Fiona is usually smart and Lip has already started to pick up on Jimmy's shadiness and the constant presence of the escalade. How long until Fiona does too? I've said this since the Shameless Season 3 premiere, Jimmy needs to come clean. Maybe not about what Estefania did in the back of the Escalade, but the entire sham. Even the crazy driver knows it's wrong.

Alright I feel like I've fully analyzed the lives of the Gallaghers this week so now it's your turn. Hit the comments! 

May I Trim Your Hedges? Review

Editor Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.9 / 5.0 (45 Votes)
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Shameless Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Kick ass, take names...and don't blow anyone.


When you grow up in this house you think nothing could shock you anymore but then...what is it with men and their Johnsons?