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Damon- "So what does it say?"
Shane-"It says ratings for the Vampire Diaries on the CW."
Bonnie-"Well what does that mean?"
Shane-"I don't know but the number is between 301-302 Something about Delena numbers poll.
Bonnie-"And that means what EXACTLY?"
Damon-It means you better put in a application for the Secret Circle."
Bonnie-"Thanks alot Julie."
Shane-Who's Julie?"
Bonnie-"Huh?"

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Professor: And the pregnancy test says...

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Damon: Drink??
Proffessor: bourbon
Damon: keep a diary?
Proffessor: yes of course
Damon: sorry you don't qualify try with stefan

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Bonnie: I don’t understand. How can you know all this stuff about witchcraft? I mean…you’re white!

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Professor Shane: Folks, time for your quarter season report cards.
Damon, you completely failed “How to Get the Human Girl 101”, but keep up the good work and you’ll ace “How to Get the Vampire Girl”.
Bonnie – it’s a C- for now, but lighting a few candles just won’t be enough to pass “Dark Magic and Spirit Summoning” this season!

Amie

Shane: What is this?
Bonnie: Its the list of guests stars for this season with whom apparently everything is connected.

Leon-alexis

Shane:I was arrested 7 times for last 3 years. Yes, I still takes drugs and drink alcochole. I have a different girl every week,it's hard.
I know you probably mad on me,because I haven't changed. I am Sorry.
I've heard you'er in Mystic Falls now. Be careful,the rumores say this town is full of the vampiries.
I send you this book,it's a gift from me. It's full of fotos,pictures... it's about my life.
I hope I will see you again and play basketball with you.
Your John,forever!
Damon: I kinda like your twin brother. Where does he live?

Amie

Shane: What is this?
Bonnie: It is a map, which leads to a cure for our friend, Elena. She is a vampire. You see, along time ago there were these Original Vampires and Klaus...
Damon: Long story, buy the e-book.

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Professor: We... the pe..peolp... peepllay. This crap is hard, don't you have any goodnight moon?
Bonnie: You've got to be kidding. I missed a massage for this?
Damon: For a dumb guy he has an AMAZING hairline!
Professor: Wait! I think I've got it, PEOPLE!
Bonnie: IT SAYS, EAT AT JOES FOR FREE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! GEEZ!

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Professor: Crap, I have no idea what this says.
Bonnie: Look, the info or no date.
Damon: If he doesn't give it to us I could always go for a little professor for dinner. I wonder if Elena'd join me



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